Snippets of a Far East Excursion

“I have traveled all over the world and have had many experiences, some good some quite bad. These two anecdotes are a couple of the funny ones from when I worked in China. I hope you enjoy my humiliation as much as those around me did” JC Falenschek

Is it a Far East excursion or would it be the Far West? I can never be sure. I mean, from where I live it makes more sense to go west, you get there faster, less time in the air and even go over Alaska at times, depending on the airlines and their routes. Though most flights take place overnight so you can’t really see anything.

The Wall

We took a hired car from Beijing to the nearest point of the Great Wall that allows tourism. This was a great idea though expensive. When I say we I am talking about my friend Glenn whom I work with at the Tianjin Motorola facility. The car was so much nicer than a taxi, it was a late model VW four door sedan with a nice large back seat and plenty of legroom. It was clean and spacious. We could have taken public transportation, but I tend to get an anxiety attack when doing so in a foreign country. The unsureness of it, not speaking the language and a couple of bad experiences in Paris all accounted for this. One time it got so bad that while standing on a bus in Germany I fainted and fell into the lap of an elderly woman, not a pretty sight. Fortunately, Glenn is somewhat fluent in Chinese. He is Canadian, from just north of Seattle where his dad is a professor at a major university there. Having spent an abundance of time there hanging out, there was a large percentage of the student body from mainland China, he could speak it well enough to hold a conversation, often punctuated by the obligatory “A”. As for me, I could answer a phone saying hello, and most importantly, I could say thank-you. Otherwise, I would stare into the eyes of the person speaking with a vacancy of intellect, repeating over and over “I don’t understand.” Often getting louder or slower while saying it as if that was going help.

It takes anywhere from one to two hours to get to the Great Wall from Beijing, there are several tourist points along the Wall so that accounts for the varying time. I settled into the backseat and visibly relaxed, watching as the scenery turned from skyscrapers to high rise apartments and condos, to low dwellings and gas stations, to fields and woods. All the while speeding along on a four-lane highway. An oddity came in to view on our right, a group of large structures with a parking lot overrun with weeds. Situated out in the middle of nowhere, and as we passed what appeared to be amusement rides came into view. Seeing too, Glenn began a conversation with driver, which I could only guess at.

When Glenn finally turned back, I asked what was going on and what that place was.

“He says that it was going to the Chinese version of a Disneyland” was his reply.

To keep the conversation going I asked, “Are they still working on it?”

“No, I doubt it. The driver said that one day they just stopped and haven’t done anything since. He thinks that the project ran out of money.”

“Hmm… that’s weird. I thought the government had part of all businesses that came in, even at Motorola they do. You’d think they would go all in not wanting to lose money.”

“I guess,” Glenn grunted and turned back to his window watching the fields go past.

The Great Wall is one of the major tourist spots in the world, people coming from everywhere to step on the ancient structure, including the Chinese populace. Arriving at the Wall we pulled into the parking lot. This was filled with tour buses, public buses, taxis, limousines, and cars for hire like ours. It was a busy, loud, and colorful environment. There was plenty to explore, stores and street vendors abounded. Now though, I was consumed with finding the public facilities, with urgency. I always drink too much water or soda before getting in a car or before trips.

Our destination was in the saddle between two small mountains, maybe more like extremely large foothills, I guess I’m not sure, but they were big. Beautiful, lush, greenery painted the hills which served as a stunning backdrop for the Great Wall. I was ready to attack the wall. Once I was on the Wall, I was presented with going right or left. Left went down towards the bottom of the saddle and a few structures. Right went up, a rising ramped walkway leading to a flight of stairs that went up, and up, and up. Ending at a watch tower the stairs became another ramped walkway, this led to another tower. Glenn opted for left which looked beautiful, but I went right.

I wanted to get to the second tower, to be up high, overlooking the valley and everything below. The trek looked to be three-quarters of a mile to a mile to get to the second tower, certainly nothing beyond my capabilities. I was after all a former competitive athlete, though that was fifteen years earlier. Like many retired athletes’ life finally took over and workout regimens eventually fell by the wayside. Though like many others, I thought my physical prowess was still there. This delusion belied the extra twenty pounds I carried and the lack of any aerobic exercise.

Getting to the steps I was surprised to see how worn they were. Scooped out and worn smooth from foot traffic over a couple of thousand years, it’s quite difficult to describe, just to say they looked very unsafe. Another startling fact was the inconsistency of the stairs, laid from natural stone the steps were anywhere from 4” to 12” in height. This was going to be a strenuous climb. I began my ascent with heart felt vigor, setting a moderate but even pace. Soon beads of sweat formed on my brow, but I told myself that it was from the intense sun, it was, after all, the mid-afternoon. Wiping away the sweat became a every couple of minutes task, and my shirt started to stick to my body. I figured I must be half to three-quarters of the up, so I stopped to rest and looked over the wall to view the long way down. I looked up to see where I was, my heart skipped a beat and my stomach dropped.

I was only a third of the way up to the tower if that. I wiped away more sweat, much more than simple beads now. My pride said I was in better shape than this, but my body said otherwise as I felt my leg muscles starting to burn. I shrugged it off and kept going. I started slowly, letting my legs catch up. Once I got to the first tower it would be an easy walk. People were passing me, but I tried not to let it bother me, but they were passing me with more frequency.

A group of youths bounded up the steps at the rate of mountain goats. There was a lull in passers-by, and I felt I was getting my second wind, though I was huffing and puffing. Just a little further now and I would be at the tower with another opportunity to rest. With my head down so I could concentrate on each step, my peripheral vision caught movement to my left. I shuffled to my right to get out of the way. A pair of elderly Chinese ladies smiled as they passed me climbing at a steady strong pace, they both looked to be at least ninety years old. My vision blurred as salty sweat rolled into my eyes.

Finally, I arrived at the tower, walked to a low wall, and sat down to take stock of my situation. My legs were shaking, I was just passed by a couple of geriatrics, and it looked at the next tower which seemed to rise another five-hundred feet up. Looking back the rough steps presented an almost vertical drop. Legs like jelly made it difficult to stand and I made my way to the steep long ramp, watching people ascend and descend. Finally, admitting to myself my abject failure, I turned and headed down the stairs, passing others as they made the climb.

Horses

Glenn was a thoughtful and generous friend, always finding new and different activities for us. This helped to keep me distracted from being away from my family and helped me learn more about the Chinese culture and their everyday life. One of the more unusual events he led us on was a horseback riding expedition in the mountains north of the Great Wall. There were six of us, Glenn, me, two Chinese American women, who didn’t speak Chinese at all, another lady, and a guy, all from Motorola.

Glenn had hired a bus for the three plus hour trip, and it wait for us to bring us back. White with blue advertising, it had an ultra-clean sparkling interior, also of white and blue. Thankfully it had a powerful air-conditioner that kept us comfortable in the summer heat. I passed the time between making small talk and watching the scenery go by.  “So how did you come by this horseback riding adventure.” I questioned Glenn.

“About a year ago I was talking to Lim, telling him about how bored I was, and he told me about his weekly riding lessons. So, he invited me along and I’ve tried to make it out about once a month.”

“Very nice. The stable must be large to outfit all of us.” I replied.

He chuckled, “You’ll see,” was his cryptic answer.

That wasn’t reassuring but I didn’t press it. We had passed over and through the mountains and cruised through a small but very modern town. With-in a half hour we pulled into a rural community, past a few houses with barns, and stopped on the far side of this small town. We had left early so it was only about ten or so in the morning, a beautiful clear day, it would get hot by the afternoon. We stopped at a house that was sparsely landscaped but seemed meticulously maintained. A low bricked structure with a wooden shingled roof was the centerpiece of the property.  A well weathered, small, slight man came out almost immediately to greet us. I estimated his age to be in the late forties or early fifties.

Glenn shook his hand and spoke with him in Chinese then introduced us collectively. I didn’t get his name, Glenn talked so fast, and his name was quite complicated, so I just nodded. When in doubt, smile, and nod. Besides tis nice home there was a wooden barn in the background, but there was no sign of a stable. We all stood around while Glenn conversed with our host. In a couple of minutes, the diminutive man disappeared into the barn, returning shortly leading a pair of horses.

“Let’s go everyone, just follow the pair of horses but not to close.”

With that Glenn led the way, with us straggling behind. I was perplexed, where were the other animals. A few minutes later we turned a corner and were confronted by an open space with a group of men, all of which were holding the reigns of several horses.

“We’re here; these guys will pair all of you up with a horse. Please understand that these are about all the horses in the village, each family has brought out their animals for us to use today. Like I said, they’ll pair you up, so go ahead and find a ride. Except you John, we’ve got a special one for you.”

I really didn’t like the sound of that, but Glenn motioned for me to follow, and he led me to a horse in the middle of the group. This one was bigger than the others, probably a good three hands or so. ₍₁₎ Looking around at the others I thought that they must be the size of Mustangs, smaller, more agile, and quick. While this horse was taller than the rest, it didn’t look to be as large as the ones I was accustomed to seeing.

“This is the largest one they have, we thought you would need it.”

Glenn smiled and deftly patted my stomach. Yes, I was overweight, and as such the largest person here, but come on, a special horse just for me!!! With some grunting and assistance from the guys we all eventually mounted our steeds and waited as these sun-drenched men literally hopped on their beasts. Each man led his horse to one of our group and pulled alongside. Except for me, instead Glenn rode over and asked how I was doing.

“Great so far. I see why you gave me the largest one, but it’s still on the small side, isn’t it? How about some helpful instructions?”

“Yeah, it’s a little small but it will be ok, as far as advice, all I can say is relax and trust your horse.”

One of our hosts started out with a young lady from our group alongside. Soon we were all trotting at an even, easy pace. I wasn’t scared but I was, we’ll say prudent, as my left hand had an unrelenting grip on the saddle horn. I don’t know much about horses or riding, but I now know about this one. I’ve only been riding a couple of times, slow trails with a guide, never was I in charge of my own animal. This one was gentle and easily controlled at this slow pace, and I do want to emphasize slow. Soon we hit trails that went up and followed switchbacks to climb the relatively steep and rocky face of one of the largest of the foothills. Lots of yellowish-brown packed earth created this trail, which was often bordered on one side by a long drop straight down, and on the other side by the sheer face of the cliff just feet away. I relied on the good sense of my horse, and those in front of us, to stay safely on the path. I did realize though, that I still had a firm, but tighter, grip on the saddle horn. I hadn’t let go since the start of our ride and my hand was getting cramped. As the day went on the sun reached its zenith and all of us, in Glenn’s group, were suffering, what mad it only worse was our guides seemed unaffected. We stopped for water breaks every so often which helped and were a welcome respite from the saddle and its horn. The views we encountered were stunning, picturesque mountains were all around us now. The sky was a bright blue devoid of any clouds, I could only imagine what sunrise and sunset would look like from some of our vantage points. We crossed a stream and my horse decided it would be a good idea to cool off in the water, so it laid down. Not knowing what to do, I ended up straddling it as it laid there. I felt, and looked, foolish as the group broke out in laughter while I stood shin deep in the creek. For whatever reason, though, the guides were upset that this happened. Hours later, we were on the flats headed back to town. At one point, as we got closer, most of the guides and some of our group took off at a fast pace, galloping with great ease. What I didn’t know was that my horse would want to run too, trying to stay with most of the pack. I forgot that we were in China and started yelling “Whoa” to no avail, it didn’t occur to me that the horse probably didn’t understand English commands. I held that horn with all the force I could muster until our lead guide pulled up next to me, grabbed the reins, and slowed us down. Later that night I was the subject of much laughter and good-hearted teasing.

H